Commentary

Do walls work? Black Cracker on social barriers in the queer scene

20. Apr. 2017
Black Cracker by Alexa Vachon

Apr. 20, 2017 – Since moving uptown to the lovely suburb of Prenzlauer Berg, I find myself often drinking flat whites where Oderburger meets Benauer Straße. After buying Senf and dish soap from the Denn’s on the corner, I most always look up at the photo mural of people pouring, like hive, through a sliver of structure dismantled. I fall backwards into dreams of separation, segregation and restriction. Stumble through feelings of otherness and persistent isolation. I imagine the bricks between skin and blood, rigid steel spines, and bullets reflecting the sun of a Berlin winter.

When I first began living here, attending events and being “social”, my very belonging in certain spaces was questioned, similar to the turf battle I was having with a colony of “killer” bees, making my instant coffee truly pleasureless in my flat in Bethanian. I was subjected to righteous suspicion and swarming authority in spaces where, in certain senses, I could have thought to “belong” or at least safely immigrate. I was rarely welcomed, and when access was granted, it was overwhelmingly by those eager to purchase substances I did not sell, nor indulge in, for that matter. The assumptions were ugly and more frequent than, I am certain, the collectivity would want to acknowledge. The wall thought itself entitled and justified, as if I myself should even pay for such exile. The shadow it cast was shameful, and from most angles a disillusioned collection of dust, rubble and decay. 

I find nightlife often mistaken as political. Beers, smoke and mirrors are not at all a democratic or utilitarian context for a fully encompassing community. It so quickly becomes problematic for contributors who are not gay or lesbian, yet identify, occupy or even simply relate to queer. Who guards these walls? How far do they expand or constrict? Who inspects the validity of a SchwuZ card – I mean, green card. I don't see communities as somethings to be a part of, rather as living organisms we can cultivate into forms complex enough to not reduce their borders or masses. Expansive collections of light that extend amoebic arms and shoulders to embrace, shelter and nurture all members of a civilization hurting and unhealed. Community ought not be monochrome. Diversity cannot be inserted and cannot be celebrated. Diversity must just be – or else it runs the risk of further marginalization.

I often question the need for walls, whether they actually create security or identify a target. How can seeds grow with no water, no sun, no bees? How can we expand? How can we expect change with no interaction? Sometimes refuge becomes a perverted isolation manifesting its own desire to be lonely and afraid. According to Monica Crowley, walls work, so let us take a long, hard look at who we are not, and who we are and most important, who we can be. Let's make the most beautiful wall as open as a smile on a rainy spring day.

These words are not perfect. But you are. We are. Flaws and all. We are not victims, maybe we have been victimized, but we are warriors and saints.

Black Cracker is an artist working with text, music and video. His latest album Come as U R is out now

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Das Branchenbuch mit Haltung
Queer. Divers. Überzeugend.